ideal day progress.

Okay, y'all.  Let's talk ideal day.

I wrote a little about my ideal day back in March after I attended the Making Things Happen intensive.  The concept of the ideal day has been one of the biggest take-aways for me.  Once I actually spent time thinking about and working towards my ideal day, I became fiercely passionate about it and protective over it.  So, let's talk a little about what mine looks like and how you can start figuring yours out too.

Before I even begin to talk about mine, I want to make sure you understand that everyone's ideal day is going to be totally different.  There may be aspects of other people's that you imitate but it is okay for yours to be completely different.  It should be what works for you.  Not what looks good.  Or what someone else's looks like.  I had to decide that from the beginning.  To do what was going to work for me.  Even if it didn't look as glamorous or "ideal" as someone else's.  

The second thing that I've learned is that it's totally a work in progress.  Your ideal day will change depending on the season of life you're in.  And, a major part of that for me stems from the fact that I've got young kiddos.  I learned very quickly that when you finally figure out what schedule works for your babies, you have about a week (or less) before that schedule no longer works.  So you adjust and spend some trial-and-error days before you finally figure out what works.  You enjoy that for a few days or weeks and then you start over again.  It's an endless cycle.  I know this will get better as my kids get older but for now, our "normal" changes so often that my ideal day will continue to change and adapt to what my responsibilities and requirements are as Mom.  I've had to remind myself of this often in order to not become frustrated with myself on the days where my ideal day isn't so...ideal.

All that to say, I really haven't even figured out my ideal day completely.  I've figured out my ideal morning.  And part of my ideal night.  But during the day, I'm still in the trial-and-error phase.  So, it's funny that I'm even coming here to share this with you now, since I haven't gotten it figured out.  But, even having a few ideal hours per day makes SUCH A DIFFERENCE.  So, I want to encourage you to start figuring it out.  Even if you only figure out a part of your ideal day.  Write it down.  Try it for a few days.  Work out the kinks.  Then move on to working on a few more hours of your ideal day.  I'm telling you, once you start reaping the benefits of the few ideal hours you DO make, you'll become addicted.  You'll want to live your whole day like this.  Not just parts of it.  I'm there now.  Protective of what I've figured out so far and anxious to figure out the next part.  And so, I'm writing this post now to encourage you to start somewhere and because a few people have said, "Okay, so I liked reading about how important your ideal day is but what does it actually look like?".  I had that same question until I heard what other people do during MTH.

Here's my ideal morning:

6:40 a.m. --  Wake up. 

To my alarm going off in my bathroom.  This is important.  I moved my phone from my bedroom.  I don't fall asleep looking at it.  And I am forced to get out of the bed when it goes off.  No snoozing for me.

I would love to move this to 6:00 or 6:15.  But, I had to start somewhere.  In fact, I think I started at 7 a.m. and I've moved it back over time.  I am more productive in the mornings so I need to get up early rather than stay up late.  And, when I use the boys as my alarm clock, I am not excited to start my day.  I always wish they would sleep a little longer so I could sleep a little longer.  Instead, I now get up and start my day.  Then, when they wake up, I am excited to hear their little laughs and them "talking" to each other.  I can go in and excitedly greet them for the day.

6:50 a.m. --  Workout.

This does not work for everyone.  And I didn't think it would work for me.  But, I've learned it's the easiest thing to skip on my to do list if I don't get it checked off before the boys wake up.  I've also realized this is what gives me enough energy for each day.  When I started working on my ideal day, I was doing my bible study first thing.  But, I couldn't focus.  And, I found that I can fit in my bible study during other times in the day.  Where it's not as easy to fit in my workout.  

I also figured out I need to get the best bang for my buck...time.  I was super excited about doing the Insanity workouts.  I have looked forward to getting the dvds for a long time.  Thankfully, a friend let me borrow a few of the workouts before I made the investment.  They are SO good.  But, they are typically about 45 minutes.  45 minutes used to be a short workout.  But, during this season of life, with all that I want to accomplish each day, that is not feasible.  I need to be able to work out hard for 25-30 minutes every morning and move on to the next thing.  So, I started doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred again.  I alternate that with running.  I am able to go out for a run in the mornings because Jordan doesn't have to leave for work until 7:40.  I used to going for a run with the boys and I loved it.  But, it's nice to leave the house without anyone.  Just go out and run all by myself.  It's also faster because I don't have to load up the babes and deal with the stroller.  Plus, it's not so hot at 6:50 in the morning!  So I do this a 1-2 days per week and I do a workout dvd the other 4-5 days.  I recently got the Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30 workout video.  I will do a review of that dvd next week.  But it's also quick and hard.

I try to start my mornings this way 6 days per week but I am happy with at least 5 days.  Giving myself a day of rest and a "grace day" if I'm not able to do it an additional day that week.  We spend lots of weekends out of town and for some reason, I find it more difficult to get up and workout when we're out of town.  I'm trying to get better about that.

7:30 a.m. -- Bible Study/Bible Reading

Like I said earlier, initially I tried doing this first.  But, I learned that I am much more successful at this after I've been up for a little while.  During the school year I go to BSF on Thursday mornings so I have questions and a passage to read each day.  In April I started a plan to read through the Bible in a year.  I have started these plans multiple times but have yet to finish one.  I heard an incredible sermon during revival at my parent's church about discipline and I have spent a lot of time since thinking about discipline and the importance it has in all aspects of my life.  One of the things that stemmed from this sermon was my decision to read through the Bible in a year.  Each morning I read three chapters in the Old Testament and one in the New Testament.  Some days this takes less time and some days it takes a little while longer.  But, typically it's 20-30 minutes.

8:00/8:30 a.m. -- Shower and get ready

This is the part where having kids forces my ideal day to be flexible.  If the boys are still asleep, which most days they are, I take a shower and get ready for the day.  This typically does not take long at all.  I've learned how to utilize the time they are asleep and quick showers are crucial.  I don't spend very much time getting ready each day because I can get so much done while they are asleep!

I shower quickly, throw on an outfit  [typically shorts and a tank top - it's my uniform all summer.  a plain target tank and a different color of j. crew shorts - always buy them on clearance!  they're inexpensive and they're a staple item - you'll wear them for years!  i threw in that little tip for free.  you're welcome :)].  I add some mascara and comb through my hair.  Then, I'm ready for the day.  No drying my hair or putting on lots of makeup.  By the end of the day I will be sweaty (we spend a ton of time outside), my hair will be in a ponytail and my clothes will be stained with a little snot or milk or bananas or even poop on the bad days.  It is what it is.  I don't feel like I'm using my time wisely when I spend tons of time getting ready.  But, when I know we will be going somewhere that I need to be a little more dressy, I will wear something different and put on a little extra makeup.  But, I've learned to do it all really fast.

If the boys are awake and not content to play in their cribs for an additional 5 minutes while I shower, I will forgo the shower.  It will happen later in the day.  During their nap, when Jordan gets home, or after they're in bed.  Not a huge deal.  I didn't mind showering while they were awake when they were tiny and sat in a bouncy seat or laid on a play mat.  But now, they are either throwing the video monitor and sippy cups in the toilet (ahem...thank you, Crews) or trying to pull the shower curtain open and push all the shampoo and body wash bottles in the tub, getting themselves and the bathroom floor soaked all at the same time.  It's just not worth it.  I'll be dirty for a few extra hours.

8:30/9:00 a.m --  Breakfast and unload the dishwasher

This is where my ideal day gets a little hazy.  Once the boys get up, we play for a few minutes.  I make a point to sit down in the playroom floor and let the boys wake up slowly.  They bring me books to read and lavish me with slobbery kisses.  It's a favorite part of my day.  I'm always sad when we're in a rush in the mornings.  I LOVE slow mornings with them.  And, I'm bad to miss out on those opportunities if I don't make a point to just sit and let them run around in the playroom. Being down on their level.  They love it and I love it.

Then, we eat breakfast.  While the boys eat, I fix my coffee.  I don't want coffee when I finish working out because I'm hot but after my shower I've cooled down enough to be ready for a hot cup of coffee!  So, I fix my coffee and breakfast and typically I unload the dishwasher while they eat.  It's so much easier to unload it while they are stuck in their highchairs.  They like to "help" me unload the dishwasher but really it takes ten times longer and I say no to them five thousand times because they try to grab knives and pull the racks completely out of the dishwasher.  It's chaos.   But, I realized that if my dishwasher gets unloaded in the morning, my kitchen stays much cleaner throughout the day.  It's easy to throw our dishes in there after breakfast and lunch and it's nice to start supper when the sink is cleaned out and I know I can throw the dishes into the dishwasher as I cook.  If not, they just pile up throughout the day and it's such a chore to clean the kitchen at the end of the day.  I've learned that the state of my kitchen sets the tone for the rest of the house.  When it's clean, I'm able and willing to keep the rest of the house clean.  When it gets too dirty, it's over.  Nothing else stays clean either.

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After this, my days are all different.  When I first came home from MTH the boys were still taking 2 - two hour naps per day.  So I had four hours a day to work on things.  Then, we dropped their morning nap.  I held tight to their morning nap as long as I could because I had FOUR HOURS to be productive every day.  When we dropped their first nap, their second nap shortened to an hour and a half.  It made it super difficult!  To go from four hours to work on photography and Moxie Made and house stuff to only an hour and a half...major difference!  But, slowly they built back up to 2  hour nap.  Even 2.5 hours some days!  I'm hoping that we make it to a solid 2.5-3 hour nap each day!  A girl can hope, right?

Because I keep getting stuck in figuring out the middle of my day, I decided to start working backwards.  I am now focusing on getting my ideal night worked out.  Then, I'm going to work on the middle.

And really, there are only a few things I've figured out for night time.

First, that preparation is key.  It has become so apparent that when I go to bed with my house in order, I wake up with my mind in order.  Sounds crazy, right?  But when the laundry is put away and the dishwasher is running and the playroom has been picked up, I am able to wake up and enjoy the morning.  I don't start out feeling behind.  I know the boys will have the playroom destroyed again as soon as they wake up.  I'll probably find my strainer in the bathtub and my shoes in with the baking sheets.  But, for the couple of hours I'm awake after they're in bed and the couple of hours I'm awake before they wake up, I can enjoy it.  So, it's worth it!

Speaking of preparation, supper time is also a night time activity I've had to work on.  It is so important to me to cook for my family.  Ideally I would cook every night and maybe go out one weekend night only.  This is hard for me.  Partly because I'm not a super great cook and don't really, really enjoy it.  But also because I don't prepare.  It is so much easier when I am prepared.  So, I've started making it a priority to plan a menu and shop from that (which is not my normal...).  Instead of just trying to pull a meal together last minute I know that morning what I am going to cook and I can spend a few minutes during nap time prepping for supper so it's not as easy to skip out on cooking and suggest Chickfila for the third night in a week.  So, part of my ideal plan is to cook for my family each night.  But, I'm still working out the kinks and getting more disciplined in this area.

Lastly, I LOVE SLEEP.  I don't function well without sleep.  I've always been much more productive in the morning. So, if I'm going to get up early, I have to go to bed early.  If I stay up late, I end up just sitting on the couch - watching television, reading blogs and eating a bowl of apple jacks.  I'm not kidding.  Then, I don't want to get up in the mornings.  So, I've set my bedtime for 10 p.m.  Ideally, I will get ready for bed at 9:30 and spend a few minutes reading before I go to sleep.  I started out very strict about this and I've slowly become more relaxed about it.  And I've noticed a difference.  It's much harder to get up in the mornings and be excited to work out.  I have to talk myself into it.  So, I've got to get serious about this again.  There will be nights when I go to coffee with a girlfriend or spend the night at my parent's house (where everyone is a night owl and stays up playing games).  But, I need to adjust for that.  Going to bed early (like 9 pm) the next night to make up for it.  If not, it catches up with me.  Then I'm frustrated.  Because I'm tired and unproductive and more easily aggravated.  It's not a good combo.

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Okay, so that's all I've got so far.  I know that was super long.  But, I'm also super passionate about this.  The concept of an ideal day has rocked my world.  I know it could change yours drastically.

One of the things Lara suggested when she was talking about the ideal day was closing your eyes and thinking about living the first five minutes of your ideal day.  Think about how it makes you feel.  Then, think about living the first hour of your ideal day.  Then the whole day.  Then, think about living a week of ideal days.  Then think about that becoming your normal.  Your every day.

You will be breathing deeper and sitting with a smile on your face before you even finish thinking about living the first five minutes.  By the end of thinking through all of that, YOU WILL BE FIRED UP.

So, what is stopping you?

Start with five minutes!  Knowing that you'll breathe deeper.  And that you'll have a smile on your face.  And then, build from there.  It is so worth it, y'all.

a few little secrets.

Happy Monday, Y'all!

Like I mentioned, so many wonderful people have asked me how the Making Things Happen conference was!  I know my initial post probably seemed a little strange.  And really it's just because I have a lot to figure out.

But, I am excited to share with y'all a few secrets from the conference.  The very first thing that Lara Casey said after welcoming us on the first day of the conference was "I have no secret for y'all".  So, the end.  

Kidding.  She went on to say that there is no secret equation on how to make things happen.  And, although I wish there were (because it would make my life a lot easier!) it actually requires a lot of hard work, some time away and an excitement to make things happen!  

So, if you're interested in starting to make things happen, here's how to get started. 

First, go to Lara Casey's blog on the about page and click on the square that says "Goals".  This will direct you down the page to her goals posts.  Now, this is going to sound crazy, but I want you to open each post and print it.   All five posts.  Do it how ever you'd like - copy and paste just the text into a document and print it or print the whole post with the pictures and everything.  Do it however you'd like, just PRINT THEM.

Then, figure out a time when you can go somewhere by yourself (like really go somewhere - not just sitting in your living room during nap time or at your desk during your lunch break).  Leave your computer and your iPad at home.  Take the posts that your printed out and a fun journal or notebook.

Now we're going to get crazy.

Go to the coffee shop and leave your phone in the car!

  Let your husband or whoever know where you're going to be so they can call you at the store if something happens and they need to get in touch with you.  

Now, I know this sounds crazy and probably extreme.  But I promise you, this was a huge part of the success of the conference.  They literally took our phones away when we walked into the conference.  So we were forced to focus COMPLETELY on one single task.  

It was liberating.  I know that sounds crazy but to be honest, I don't even want to have my phone with me now.  I recognized just how addicted to it I was and just how much time I waste.  Truly, if you think about it, almost all of us are addicted to it.  Rather than sitting in the drive thru line and appreciating the music on the radio or sitting in silence just thinking or rolling the windows down and pointing out the trees and sky to our kids in the backseat, we are on our phones.  We fill EVERY EXTRA SECOND OF OUR TIME catching up on what other people are doing on Facebook or updating Facebook to let others know what we're doing.  It's exhausting.  

Okay, off the soap box.  But for real.  If you really want to get the experience I would leave your phone in your car.  You will survive.  I promise.  And, don't fake it and say that you're just going to leave it in your bag and only pull it out if you need it.  This won't work.   Promise.  You WILL pull it out at some point.  Just to make sure no one has called or texted.  And it breaks your train of thought.

So instead, walk in and appreciate just standing in line.  Look around.  People watch.  Smile at someone.  Just be.  Honestly, that alone is a huge step.

Once you get your coffee, you should sit for five minutes.  Five minutes is going to seem like an eternity.  But do it.  Just sit and enjoy your coffee.  Appreciate the fact that you have some time to yourself.  To your own thoughts.  Without anything encroaching.  No Instagram updates and no sippy cups to refill.  Just sit.  And think.  Or pray.  Or watch what's going on around you.  

This alone will make you feel refreshed and fired up and ready to make things happen.  

Only after you have sat for five minutes, pull out your posts and your journal.  Go through each post, read it and follow Lara's instruction.  Enjoy this time.  Think about your answers.  Give yourself a few minutes to answer each question.  Don't feel rushed to get to the end.  Even if you have a limited amount of time.  Get through what you can in the time that you've got.  Only moving forward to the next part when you feel like you've really thought about what she's asking and written down your response.  If you have to split this up into a couple of outings it will be worth it to go slow and break it up into two separate times than to rush through just to finish.  

Now, once you've finished all of the posts, you will be fired up.  You will be excited about living your ideal day and doing things that fire you up and accomplishing the things that you truly value in this life.

Once you get home, there are a few action items you need to complete.  

First, you will need to type up and print out (or write on a fun piece of paper) your list of things that fire you up.  Print it out and put it at your desk.  On your bulletin board.  Wherever the central hub is in your home.  Somewhere you will come in contact with it often.  

I'm not sure about you, but when I made my list, I actually realized there are some days when I do none of the things that actually fire me up.  That's ridiculous.  The majority of the things on my list take thirty minutes or less.  Lots under 5 minutes.  So why in the world am I not getting fired up every day?  

So, print your list.  And post it somewhere you will see it many times throughout the day.  

Then DO at least one thing on your list EVERYDAY.  

Next, I want you to move your phone charger to your bathroom.  Heck, if you have a house phone, move your cell phone charger to the kitchen or the office.  Oh, what's that?  You use it to wake up to in the morning?  GO BUY AN ALARM CLOCK.  

Or, still use your alarm on your phone get up when you hear it going off in the bathroom.  You'll kill two birds with one stone.  

First, you'll get in the bed at night and wake up in the mornings without checking your phone.  How many of y'all go to sleep beside your husband with both of you checking Instagram or Facebook?  And, how many of you wake up in the mornings and while you can barely see, you pull your phone over and pull up Instagram?  Without even thinking?  

You haven't prayed.  You haven't thought about your day.  You haven't kissed your husband good morning.  But you sure know about every person on your news feed.   

And, the other bird you'll kill is that you'll be out of the bed to get to the alarm and therefore not hitting the snooze button.

And then, lastly, write out your ideal day.  

In detail.  

And try it.  

At least once.  

Force yourself to do it.  

You will feel like this:

Pure bliss. 

Your ideal day must be realistic.  And, for me, I had to recognize that in order to have my ideal day, I had to start at night.  If my ideal day starts early and with my house tidy then I have to get it tidy the night before and I have to go to bed at a decent time in order to start my ideal day out right.  

I'll try to post my actual ideal day sometime soon.  But, for now just know that this is such a huge part of being successful and making things happen.  TRUST ME.  I have tried it both ways since I went to the conference.  And the days that start out ideally are SO MUCH BETTER.

Then, lastly (okay, I know I said that the ideal day was the last step...but I lied) tell me how it goes! 

 Please!  

I'm dying to hear how this works for you!  

One of my favorite things that Lara says is:

Life's too short to live small.

And it's so true, y'all!  I want to live a life that is full!  I want to make life happen.  I don't want to sit back and watch it pass me by!  If you feel the same way, get started!

By the way:  these pictures happened when I was doing some things that fire me up!  Playing outside with my sweet boys, taking pictures and watching the sunset!  :)))

And, we talked about so much over the course of two days, but these are some of the huge things that I took away!  I hope they help y'all in some way!

mth 2013.

Y'all.  I don't know where to begin.  Last Wednesday and Thursday were phenomenal.  I learned so much.  But to be honest, I'm still in a haze.  Since Thursday (in between refilling sippy cups and changing diapers) my mind has been trying so hard to process all that I soaked in and wrote down.  

I have a new outlook on so much in my life.  But I also have a lot to figure out.  I have come to realize that it is crucial to schedule some time away.  The focus and clarity and passion that I felt for all of Wednesday and Thursday were because I had stepped outside of my normal, had my phone taken away from me and was solely focusing on one thing at a time.  It is unreal,  the amount of clarity that came come from that!  

But, here I am, on Monday, right back in the swing of things.  And I am fighting so hard to hang on to the things that we talked about and the things that we learned.  

One of the biggest things that was reiterated throughout the conference is to be careful how much you say about the conference when you go home.  You have a lot to process.  

In fact, they gave us a big ground rule for Wednesday night.  When we left the conference and everyone broke off into smaller groups to go eat supper, they asked us to do one thing.  Or really to not do one thing.  They told us not to offer advice.  

Their point was this:  We had fought all day to cut out any distractions, any of the "normal" that America tends to operate on, any of the voices in our heads.  And instead, think long and hard.  

For.our.selves.  

So, they told us to continue that through the evening.  To discuss what we had learned with each other but not to offer advice.  And, how quick are we to do this?  We want to empathize with people.  We want to let them know that it's all going to be okay.  We want to take their sometimes jumbled up words, process them for them and spit them back out in a nice, pretty package with a bow on top.  Making them feel better (or not) but really making yourself feel better because you were able to "fix" someone else.  Even though you are most likely a hot mess right along with them.

So instead, they told us to let people talk about their experience and then allow them to sit in it.  Allow them to process it themselves.  Not giving them tips on how you would do it or what sounds like the best plan.  Just hear them.  And that's it.  

And it was so good.  To be able to talk about what I'm trying to figure out without having someone say, "Okay, so here's what it sounds like to me..." or "Well, this is what I did when I was at that point..." or even, "Oh, Jenny, it's okay that you feel like that".  I was able to just say what was on my heart.  And sometimes, saying it aloud sounds different than just thinking it.  So it was good to say some things aloud.  For me to hear what came out of my mouth but then, still be able to process them on my own. 

So we were cautioned on sharing when we came home as well.

This is hard for me.  I tend to be an over-sharer. 

It's also hard because the people in my life knew how excited I was to go to the conference.  They knew that it was a big investment.  And that I was hoping for great things.  So, they are ready to hear about it!  They want to know what I'm doing with my life and what my ten step plan is.  And, I'm so grateful that they want to share in this with me.  But really?  What it boils down to is that I've got a lot to pray about.  I've got a lot of work to do.  And I've got a lot that still needs to be figured out.  

I have actually tried (once) to share some of the more specific things I learned since the conference (hmm...breaking the rule...that didn't take long...) and what I figured out is that words are cheap.  What I said and what I feel are two different things.  So, about 30 minutes after talking about it, I texted and said, "Forget everything I said, it wasn't completely accurate, I'm still figuring it out".  

And the truth is?  It's a lot of work.  Going to this conference didn't give me some perfect equation.  But they provided me with great tools.  Tools that I anticipate using for the rest of my life. 

 Because really, it's true.

Life is too short to live small.

So, all that to say, I'm not planning to be cryptic about this experience forever.  But, really, I need to figure out some stuff first.  For myself.  I want to hear God's voice the loudest in my life.  And sometimes that means not talking about things to every person in your life.  Because often their voices ended up replaying the loudest and not leaving room for who you really want to hear from (whether the answer is what you want to hear or not).

I did get to spend some time with amazing people and meet some lifelong friends!

I'm hoping to spend some time figuring out what's next and then really going at it hardcore.  And, I will be back with more to share, promise.  Just not today!

ps.  wow - i feel like even what I've written is a jumbled up mess :)  i just get so excited, nervous, freaked out, etc when i think about all that i learned!  so, sorry for being all over the place :)

game on.

Y'all.  I am currently sitting in a coffee shop in Mount Airy on Main Street.  My mom has taken the boys.  Dropped me off at the coffee shop.  And told me she'd be back in a few hours.  Can I just tell you, I am in heaven. 

To know that my boys are going to have a blast.  My mom is going to have a blast.  And I...oh, I am going to have a ba.last.  I've gotten a coffee and I'm sitting at a small table.  It's quiet.  There is no one needing to have their nose wiped or their sippy cup refilled.  It's just so, so nice.  In fact, I think this might just need to become doctor's orders.  That I do this once a week or once every other week.  Sheesh.  I'm already feeling so refreshed and my coffee hasn't even cooled enough for me to drink it!  

I have big news.  Real big news.

I registered for Making Things Happen!  

(All of you who thought this might be an announcement that I am pregnant, I assure you, I am not.  But I also assure you that even though this announcement seems like a let down comparatively, it is not.  It is going to be life changing!)

Being a stay at home mom is my dream job.  I love it.  In fact, I sometimes take a step back and just stand in awe.  Realizing that lots of people, much older than I, have spent their life searching for their dream job.  To do what they love every single day.  And I, at the age of 26, have found that.  It's huge.  And I do not take that for granted.

For a lot of the last fifteen months I have had an internal battle taking place.  I recognize just how blessed I am.  I do.  But I also want so badly to start a business.  I get so excited just thinking about it that my mind feels like it could explode.  It's full of all these ideas of what life could (and potentially will) look like one day!  I have felt guilty for some time because I know that raising my children is my most important job on this Earth.  There are so many people who would kill to be in my position.  I understand that.  

Well, I came across Nancy Ray's blog and then Lara Casey's and both have led me to the Making Things Happen conference!  When I started learning more about this conference I became so, so encouraged by all of these women who own their own businesses.  And plenty of them also have children.  They are able to do both.  What a crazy idea!  I started thinking about this.  A lot.  It was on my mind when I went to sleep, when I took a shower, when I drove somewhere (because let's be honest, these are about the only times when I can actually think straight for more than two minutes).  I also started praying about it.  That God would give me clarity.  If I needed to step back from this idea and wait or if I should pursue something.  That I would start to understand what He has in store for me and that either way, I would be obedient to His will.  Finally, one night, I felt a peace.  I felt like God clearly said, "Jenny, I have created you.  Just as you are.  With the passions and desires that you have.  And it is good."  He created me to be a mom.  But he has also given me abilities that I can use.  And that it is okay to pursue both. 

Next, I had to talk to Jordan about it.  One afternoon when he got home from work, I sat down to tell him what was on my heart and I burst into tears.  I explained all that was on my heart (he has heard lots of it for many months) and I told him about the MTH conference.  I described what it was about.  And I told him how much it costs.  Expecting him to laugh or to at least want to look into other options, I was completely floored when he said, "okay sign up".   No reading more about it, no discussion about why.  Just yes.  And that yes essentially said to me, I believe in you.  You can do this.  You are worth the investment.  (Not sure why I was so floored?  He has proven his belief in me time and time again and yet I still am floored when he puts his money where his mouth is.  I'm a lucky girl.)  

He actually did tell me one condition. "If you are going to do this, when you come home you've gotta go balls to the wall".  

Game on.

So, that night I signed up.  Then proceeded to dance around in the living room floor.  Jumping up and down repeatedly.  Without a bra on.  And let's not forget I've been nursing twins for the last fifteen months.  How's that for an awful mental picture?  But I was just so excited.  I also texted my two best friends until midnight.  All of us just so thrilled.  They cried for me, y'all.  They know my heart.  They get it.  I am so thankful to be loved so well.

Needless to say, I am beyond excited.  I can't seem to get a grip.  Who knows what will come of this conference.  I just know it's going to be good.  I am going to come home motivated and ready to move forward.  To start this new chapter of my life.  

I promise to bring y'all along for the ride and update more than once a month  :)