To know that my boys are going to have a blast. My mom is going to have a blast. And I...oh, I am going to have a ba.last. I've gotten a coffee and I'm sitting at a small table. It's quiet. There is no one needing to have their nose wiped or their sippy cup refilled. It's just so, so nice. In fact, I think this might just need to become doctor's orders. That I do this once a week or once every other week. Sheesh. I'm already feeling so refreshed and my coffee hasn't even cooled enough for me to drink it!
I have big news. Real big news.
I registered for Making Things Happen!
(All of you who thought this might be an announcement that I am pregnant, I assure you, I am not. But I also assure you that even though this announcement seems like a let down comparatively, it is not. It is going to be life changing!)
Being a stay at home mom is my dream job. I love it. In fact, I sometimes take a step back and just stand in awe. Realizing that lots of people, much older than I, have spent their life searching for their dream job. To do what they love every single day. And I, at the age of 26, have found that. It's huge. And I do not take that for granted.
For a lot of the last fifteen months I have had an internal battle taking place. I recognize just how blessed I am. I do. But I also want so badly to start a business. I get so excited just thinking about it that my mind feels like it could explode. It's full of all these ideas of what life could (and potentially will) look like one day! I have felt guilty for some time because I know that raising my children is my most important job on this Earth. There are so many people who would kill to be in my position. I understand that.
Well, I came across Nancy Ray's blog and then Lara Casey's and both have led me to the Making Things Happen conference! When I started learning more about this conference I became so, so encouraged by all of these women who own their own businesses. And plenty of them also have children. They are able to do both. What a crazy idea! I started thinking about this. A lot. It was on my mind when I went to sleep, when I took a shower, when I drove somewhere (because let's be honest, these are about the only times when I can actually think straight for more than two minutes). I also started praying about it. That God would give me clarity. If I needed to step back from this idea and wait or if I should pursue something. That I would start to understand what He has in store for me and that either way, I would be obedient to His will. Finally, one night, I felt a peace. I felt like God clearly said, "Jenny, I have created you. Just as you are. With the passions and desires that you have. And it is good." He created me to be a mom. But he has also given me abilities that I can use. And that it is okay to pursue both.
Next, I had to talk to Jordan about it. One afternoon when he got home from work, I sat down to tell him what was on my heart and I burst into tears. I explained all that was on my heart (he has heard lots of it for many months) and I told him about the MTH conference. I described what it was about. And I told him how much it costs. Expecting him to laugh or to at least want to look into other options, I was completely floored when he said, "okay sign up". No reading more about it, no discussion about why. Just yes. And that yes essentially said to me, I believe in you. You can do this. You are worth the investment. (Not sure why I was so floored? He has proven his belief in me time and time again and yet I still am floored when he puts his money where his mouth is. I'm a lucky girl.)
He actually did tell me one condition. "If you are going to do this, when you come home you've gotta go balls to the wall".
So, that night I signed up. Then proceeded to dance around in the living room floor. Jumping up and down repeatedly. Without a bra on. And let's not forget I've been nursing twins for the last fifteen months. How's that for an awful mental picture? But I was just so excited. I also texted my two best friends until midnight. All of us just so thrilled. They cried for me, y'all. They know my heart. They get it. I am so thankful to be loved so well.
Needless to say, I am beyond excited. I can't seem to get a grip. Who knows what will come of this conference. I just know it's going to be good. I am going to come home motivated and ready to move forward. To start this new chapter of my life.
I promise to bring y'all along for the ride and update more than once a month :)